At times, I did this to my children. I wanted them to “fit in”. I wanted them to “behave”, to be “normal”, although secretly I enjoyed them rebelling with a confidence I did not have as a child.
As I became more conscious and mindful in my parenting, I discovered that they were actually fine. I had the problem. I felt embarrassed, or like a bad parent if they misbehaved, and I reacted from there. A huge struggle for me was knowing in my heart that what they were doing was completely OK, yet another part of me was telling me to change their behaviour.
When family, teachers and society tell you there is a blanket right and wrong way, and you buy into this, we inadvertently tell our children that there is something wrong with them. That they shouldn’t be angry, shouldn’t be upset, or shouldn’t react a certain way, etc, etc.. I know for sure, that no parent wants to imply this to their children, or want them to feel this way.
Unless we are able to become very aware when we show up as a parent, there is a huge chance that this is happening. No shame or blame here, just an awareness.
When we parent unconsciously, and I don’t mean occasionally, ( Hello, remember you are human too! ) if you regularly parent from a place of unaware reaction, it makes it difficult for these little people, in our care, to grow up knowing they are worthy, and enough, just as they are.